TED (MA15+)
When: July 5
Where: General release
THERE are two ways to approach Seth MacFarlane’s live-action film debut, Ted.
One is to expect the trademark humour we’ve seen on a hundred episodes of Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show transferred to the big screen. The other is to go in expecting anything else.
I advise strongly against the latter lest you be disappointed.
To say Ted is a good film would be to imply it has a strong plot, interesting character arcs and brings something new to its genre. Ted has none of these things. But then, Family Guy isn’t exactly Mad Men or Game of Thrones either.
MacFarlane owns a comfortable niche pumping out low-brow but witty animated satire, and he doesn’t stray far from that here.
Only a big dollop of Hollywood schmaltz and an all-too predictable romantic subplot do anything to raise Ted above the level of toilet humour. But of course, that’s exactly why MacFarlane fans will lap it up.
John (Mark Wahlberg) makes a Christmas Eve wish as a child that his teddy bear, Ted (voiced by MacFarlane), come to life so a lonely mini Marky Mark will have a friend. His wish comes true and John ends up with a walking, talking teddy as a lifelong ‘‘thunder buddy’’.
Ted hilariously reaches fame throughout the ’80s as a talk-show guest and actor before suffering the fate of most ’80s stars and being humiliatingly forgotten by the public. Yes, even talking teddies have a use-by date.
Twenty years on, Ted is a washed-up celebrity living the bachelor’s life with his still-thunder buddy John, now in his 30s and working for a car rental company. They share a bond based on booze, bongs and babes.
Enter Lori (Mila Kunis), the nice girl who hopes to make John grow up – hard when John lives with a teddy bear that’s determined to get up to mischief at every turn. The mischief ranges from cocaine parties with Flash Gordon to backstage shenanigans with Norah Jones, who plays herself in one of the funniest scenes.
The snappy dialogue, offensive jokes, pop culture references and slapstick flies thick and fast, and are just enough to make up for the formulaic plot. Ted is the perfect vehicle for MacFarlane.
It’s just a shame he chose such a well-worn path in the romantic buddy comedy film. But at least it’s a tired story told well.
