Review: Safe, with Jason Statham

SAFE (R)

Where On general release

When: Now showing

Reviewer: Stephen A Russell

WAITING outside the cinema for the latest high-octane injection from Jason Statham, Safe, a girlfriend and I hazarded a guess at how long it would take the British beefcake to go topless.

We didn’t have to wait long. Statham’s first scene sees his ex-cop, Luke Wright, locked in a brutal cage fight, glistening with blood and sweat, and that pretty much sets the pace for the rest of the film. The plot, such as there is, works the ‘‘corrupt New York City’’ shtick to its limits.

A bunch of leather-clad Russians who were counting on Luke to throw that particular fight set about destroying his life. Meanwhile, vicious Triads kidnap young genius Mei, played by a perky Catherine Chan, from her school in China, and bring her to New York.

She has a photographic memory and a gift for numbers, so they want her to do their dirty laundry minus the paper trail. Luke’s murky past in the force catches up with him too, when a rag-tag bunch of crooked cops, led by a steely-eyed Robert John Burke as Captain Wolf, gets involved in the ensuing fracas. Even the mayor and his aide are dodgy.

Driven to the point of despair, Luke’s path inadvertently crosses with young Mei’s and he suddenly decides to become her somewhat violent guardian. Then the mayhem begins.

Good luck keeping tabs on the body count, as it’s all far too fast and furious to discern one bullet-ridden fatality from another, though the fight scenes are undoubtedly well choreographed. Writer/director Boaz Yakin handles the obligatory high-speed car chases and mass collateral damage with aplomb. The script, however, is one big mess of cliché, with Statham speaking in increasingly ridiculous macho man soundbites. The film hits its peak – or nadir, depending on your view – when he says his balls are so big it’s a miracle he can walk.

Chan handles her deadpan, wise kid act well and, with all the steroidal posturing, ballistics overload and tremendous slaughter, you can’t help but give in and enjoy it.

Statham’s easy enough on the eye, and trigger-happy types will get their popcorn’s worth.