Home » News » A sc-RUM-ptious Christmas recipe

A sc-RUM-ptious Christmas recipe

Whittlesea and Hume locals have been sharing their Christmas ideas and recipes in the lead up to the big day – and this funny one caught our eye.

And hey, there’s no rule that says we can’t enjoy it on Boxing Day!

Longwarry residents had a good chuckle when this recipe popped up on the local Facebook noticeboard recently, and we thought we’d share it with you too – Merry Christmas!

(Shared by a Longwarry local, original writer unknown):

It’s that time of year and since I’ve been unofficially crowned “Fruit Cake Queen“, here is my recipe.

THE BEST XMAS CAKE RECIPE:

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my rum Christmas cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!)

Ingredients: 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, lemon juice, 4 large eggs, nuts, 1 bottle rum, 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of rum to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the rum again to be sure it is of the highest quality then repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the rum is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the rum to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the rum.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the rum and wipe the counter with the cat.

Merry Christmas.

Digital Editions


  • Food funding starved

    Food funding starved

    Purchase this photo from Pic Store: 532105 Lalor Neighbourhood House (LNH) volunteers have been left unable to feed over 90 families after the state government…

More News

  • Special moment in game 500

    Special moment in game 500

    After 500 games of cricket you wouldn’t think there would be many more firsts for Thomastown legend Lou Alberti. But on Saturday, as he walked out to bat in game…

  • Residents urged to take shelter

    Residents urged to take shelter

    UPDATE 3.37PM A wind change is expected in the next hour, which will cause a Clarkfield fire to change directions towards Old Sydney Road. If you are in Mickleham on…

  • Hume cracks down on trolley dumping

    Hume cracks down on trolley dumping

    Purchase this photo from Pic Store: 336543 Hume council is cracking down on trolley dumping by seeking to bring back trolley impounding, fining responsible retailers and make trolley dumping illegal.…

  • More than four walls

    More than four walls

    Purchase this photo from Pic Store: 530350 For people who are socially isolated, culturally diverse or part of the LGBTQIA+ community, finding a space where you feel safe and welcomed…

  • Garage fire deemed suspicious

    Garage fire deemed suspicious

    Purchase this photo from Pic Store: 246091 Police will investigate a suspicious garage fire that broke out in Craigieburn this morning, 11 January. Fire Rescue Victoria (FRV) and CFA crews…

  • National award for headspace

    National award for headspace

    Craigieburn’s headspace has been nationally recognised for its outstanding contribution to student placement programs. Craigieburn headspace centre manager, Nadya Fullerton, said she was excited to accept the award that celebrates…

  • Demons, Kookas through

    Demons, Kookas through

    Purchase this photo from Pic Store: 507983 Mernda is through to the Diamond Valley Cricket Association summer smash grand finals after winning a thriller, while Rivergum is also through. The…

  • Folk at your doorstep

    Folk at your doorstep

    Get ready for an unforgettable night of music and storytelling as the Festival of Small Halls brings world-class folk talent to Ballan next month. On Wednesday 4 March, Ballan’s Neighbourhood…

  • Employers fined millions for safety breaches

    Employers fined millions for safety breaches

    Victorian employers were fined more than $17 million for unsafe work in 2025. The total of $17,391,325 in fines, costs and undertakings for breaches of the Occupational Health and Safety…

  • Council urges federal action on tyre dumping

    Council urges federal action on tyre dumping

    Hume council is advocating to the federal government to implement tyre recycling systems that aim to deter illegal dumping. Councillor Naim Kurt said he was excited by the recommendation for…