BREAKING DAWN, PART ONE
Sony Home Entertainment, $39.95
PERSONALLY I like my vampires to
(a) show their fangs and be scary bloodsuckers,
(b) not be able to hang out in sunlight,
(c) be able to deliver decent dialogue.
Yes, I know Twilight is aimed at tweens. But, frankly, bad acting, bad dialogue and a cast who look like they’re in physical pain delivering such bad lines makes me glad I’m not a tweenager. But if you still want to know what happens (spoiler alert): Bella (Kristen Stewart) marries Edward (Robert Pattinson). Shape-shifter Jacob (Taylor Lautner) is happy for them for about five seconds until he discovers Bella plans on staying human until after the honeymoon. Jacob shape-shifts into a hissing, head-tossing drama queen. More confusing than Jacob’s camp wolf impersonation is Bella getting pregnant to a vampire. And even more confusing is that none of the other wedding guests noticed that Edward’s family ate nothing at the reception. But what do I know? My 12-year-old niece loved it, proving you need to be a tween to understand Twilight.
