For as long as anyone can remember, the Brownlow Medal has been known as ‘‘football’s night of nights.’’ As far as I can tell, that means two things. It’s a chance for gruff, tattooed footballers to stand around awkwardly in rented suits; and it’s a chance for their ‘‘other halves’’ to dress up and pretend they’re off to the Oscars, instead of evading gamblers at Crown.
The prestigious medal, first awarded in 1924, has become more and more made-for-TV every year. Footy players were once the focus; the attention is now on the WAGs. An arrival special before the medal count is an opportunity for footballers’ partners to squeeze in as many plugs for their designer/stylist/hairdresser as they can manage.
If the player himself is quizzed about what he’s wearing, nine times out of 10 he will respond with: a) ‘‘not sure, the club organised it’’ b) ‘‘just grabbed whatever was around when I jumped out of the shower’’ or c) a plug for his T-shirt label. Try it at home as a drinking game, it’s fun!
Last year, Channel Seven seemed to cross the mark with its ‘‘fashion pod’’ – literally a spinning dais (or rotisserie, as some preferred to call it) in which WAGs were filmed from all angles while attempting to hold an uncomfortable smile and not tumble over in their heels.
Once everybody moves inside, things speed up … that is, if you enjoy sitting through AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou reading the three, two and one votes from each game. Sometimes there are unintended amusements but for the most part it’s about two hours of largely inconsequential television until the count heats up in the later stages of the season.
Seven has all sorts of ‘‘vote predictors’’ based on how their experts think players will poll, and there’s always a touching tribute to recently passed greats (this year’s tribute to Jim Stynes won’t leave a dry eye in the house).
By 11pm, most of the girls are bored and restless, most of the footballers have had too many beers and everybody raises their glasses to celebrate the winner (last year Dane Swan, pictured, took the gong). A quick speech, a few photos and it’s time to call it a night.
Richmond’s Trent Cotchin, Gold Coast’s Gary Ablett and Essendon’s Jobe Watson are among the favourites for Monday night’s medal.
Seven, Monday, 7.30pm
